Couples Therapy
A fork in the road?
Sometimes the path we journey begins to verge, and we are forced to question the next steps with our companion.
Some of these forks cause us great distress, and we need help to figure out where to walk.
Make an appointment with your significant other today to get back on the trail or for help in shifting your coordinates. Whatever choice it may be, it will surely be supported.
For several years, I received psychiatric services in Quincy. One day my prescriber told me I had to see a therapist. I was thinking: “Great…How will this go?”
When I walked in the waiting room, I met Michael: an overly well-dressed man with a very welcoming smile. We sat down and basically introduced ourselves. Surprisingly, I left feeling lighter and with a smile.
It has now been two years, and since then I have grown and learned so much. There have been difficult times in my life when I needed to talk and felt unheard; even with my significant other right there. Like all of us, relationships aren’t paradise; working with Michael and my husband has helped a lot.
I’ve lost a lot of people in my life where relationships and intimacy have been difficult. Having that individual support and working with my husband in session has helped with my worry and sadness.
I can’t express the guidance and compassion I have received. I’m proud of myself for going to that first appointment riddled with anxiety wondering, “How will this go…”
Thanks, Michael for helping me cope!
Claire, 38
What to expect?
You guessed it… Couples therapy isn’t easy.
Just like you knew relationships weren’t going to be easy, the repair of them is just as hard. But try to remember… it’s supposed to suck.
From the moments of birth, we need connection. We were rocked to sleep when we were cranky. We were held when we were scared. We were hugged when we were sad. Relationships have always been the foundation of our humanity. They are the basis of life.
Yet at the same time, we have always struggled for independence. We have hidden our tears and at times want to be left alone. We don’t always want to share our feelings with the person we vowed to love forever or open up about our fears with the person we are trying to love. Connection and separation are not mutually exclusive from relationships.
Relationships are a dance: There’s coordination, leading, dipping, following, stumbling, practice, taking a break, communication, showing off, asking for help, gloating, annoyance, beauty, critique, and cutting in…
As your couples’ therapist, we work together and look at your dynamic to get unstuck and to tango. We work together to find where your rhythm went and revive it. To instill and maintain sensitive communication to what we need but learn to appreciate and recognize when your partner has a solo.
What not to expect?
As a Justice of the Peace, I have officiated several weddings over the past ten years. And before every ceremony, I sit down with each couple and learn a little about their story: How they met, favorite memory, hopes for the future, and very directly, what they dislike about each other.
Almost all couples are taken aback by this and ask: “Why do you want to know?”
Most of the time, it gives me some good material to make a joke during their sermon. But more seriously, it invites them to evaluate what within their relationship just doesn’t sit well.
Pretending it will go away never ever works.
It’s obvious that relationships take work, but it’s another aspect to directly hear what your partner doesn’t like about you. Most couples operate unconsciously that their partner knows everything about you, how relationships are supposed to be, and project blame for why the relationship has failed.
As your couples’ therapist, I pull you out of that hole of denial, entitlement, or evasion. I will not favor one of you over the other; I remain mindful to each of your sensitivities, what you two need to work on, what you each need to acknowledge, and what you need to accept.
Relationships change overtime, and it will be a hard road ahead. What once felt monumental may feel like ruins. But by looking around and within, you will find potential and possibility to grow into something beautiful once again.
Take the first step!
Give me a call at (978) 606-7039, and let’s start rebuilding!